Are Your Actions Potentially Hurting The Most Important Relationships In Your Life?

After I share with you the things that I’m sorry about, then let me please explain to you “My Why”.

• I’m sorry that I’m not a marketing person and I’m struggling to get my message out to you.
• I’m sorry that I hate doing video messages and I freeze as soon the camera goes on.
• I’m sorry that I may mispronounce words and I’m not as clear as I wish I could be.
• I’m sorry that English is my second language and my need to achieve perfection when I speak is paralyzing me.  In fact, it’s causing me a lot of stress and is impacting the outcome and results for all the above efforts.

However, I have a Very Important Message that I need to share with you, and I believe I need to be very transparent and authentic with you today! I hope by the end you will be inspired to make the necessary changes in your life, as well.

I hope you can overlook my personal struggles with “this online marketing thing” – my poor-quality videos and the wrong choice of words.  Instead, I pray that you can hear the message behind all these imperfections!

Here It Is…

Relationships Matter!!

 Let me say it another way:

Every Single Relationship in your Life Really Matters!

Whether it’s a personal or professional relationship, they all matter, so please:

• Stop for a minute and take count of all the strained relationships in your life
• Develop an awareness of your own part in the breakdown of relationships
• Work on improving yourself and repairing your relationships

Once you’ve identified which relationships are broken or strained, you need to nurture them back to health… you need to get working on it!

We are told…

“This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God.”

Matthew 5:23-24 (MSG)

And Here’s My Why

Until about five years ago, I lived a life focused on achieving status, accomplishing results professionally and personally, and acquiring wealth. I lived to support and provide for my family and conquer the world!  You may be on a similar journey in life.

As a Business Leader…

I have been blessed to work with many amazing people, both leaders and employees.  The sad truth, though, is that there were some relationships that suffered along the away.  I was too blind and unaware of how the same strengths I was using to succeed and achieve results were hurting and alienating those who I cared for!

Unfortunately, there were some relationships that I did not nurture properly, and I realize that the outcomes and achievements would have been greater if I had only communicated differently and better.

I have experienced much success throughout my career.  I have overcome adversity and many challenges in my life, but I know that some relationships suffered unintentionally.

As a Husband and Father…

I have been blessed with a beautiful bride and mother of two amazing kids.  This past summer we celebrated our 24 years of marriage and I can’t wait to celebrate the 25-year milestone next year.

However, the truth is that up until 5 years ago, we didn’t have much hope for our marriage or family.  The most important relationship of my life was on a time clock, and time was running out.  We were destined to become another statistic.

I was an inconsiderate husband (so I’m reminded 😉), although at the time I didn’t think I was. The fact was that I always blamed my wife for most of our communication and relational struggles!

Here’s Why I Felt that Way…

I was a good financial provider for my family: I was present in my kid’s lives and attended most if not all their sporting events; I helped around the house as much as possible; I always tried to avoid arguments and tried to communicate properly.

So then, what was the issue?

I felt that my motives and intentions were good and genuine, so when people reacted differently and conflict arose, I automatically assigned the blame and responsibility to them.

In addition to my marriage, there were other personal relationships that suffered.  

Does That Sound Familiar?

Unfortunately, many business leaders today are struggling to communicate effectively and are experiencing broken relationships both personally and professionally.  This has a negative impact on their personal lives and relationships, just as it did in my life.

Let me give you scenarios that I personally experienced in the past:

• On the days that I had a rough day at work, I would come home very frustrated and tired, which often meant that I didn’t have either the patience or the energy to spend quality time with my family. As a result, I was irritable and quick to respond, or I would react to situations at home in a way that led to a flare-up between my wife and I, and even my children.  This resulted in stress on my key relationships.

• On the other hand, if I had a tough night or morning at home, I’d show up at work frustrated, exhausted, and in the wrong mindset.  As a result, my responses to others, at times, may have been short, unsympathetic, impatient or too direct.

In either situation, personal bias, perceptions and emotions got in the way and my responses at times were perceived as harsh and taken personally by the other person. This led to interpersonal conflict.

As a person who tries to avoid conflict at all costs, I wasn’t doing a great job at the avoidance!

It would bother me knowing that I may have offended or hurt someone, but the reality was that I was holding on to my greatest strengths in these moments of weakness.  In doing so, I was overusing the strengths that were intended for good, and I was communicating in a way that was leading others to experience internal conflict.

How we respond to people really matters!

As leaders, husbands and fathers, we are responsible for managing our feelings, frustrations and even anger when communicating with the people who are part of our lives.  Misspoken words, tone of voice, and delivery of a message can lead to misunderstandings, misinterpretations, and at times hurt feelings.  This puts a strain on our key relationships.

As a business leader, how you communicate with your team members can either motivate them or discourage them which has a direct impact on their performance and morale. Building a positive working environment and culture depends on you.

I have worked for and with too many business leaders who experienced and struggled with broken relationships.  It negatively impacts their health, the well-being of others, and causes a big strain on all their relationships.

So, What Is Causing This Issue?  (This is where I hope you can hear my message…)

IT’S A COMMUNICATION ISSUE – A lack of awareness and understanding of the root cause of your communication problems.

You must get to the heart of your communication issues and develop a level of awareness, understanding, and acceptance that every relationship you have is important to you! We have the responsibility and the ability to make a difference in our lives and in the lives of others by the way we choose to communicate. 

According to a recent article called “3 Traits of Strong Professional Relationships” by Darin Rowell, there are three types of relationships:

1. Transactional Relationships – “where a minimum level of interaction, interdependence, or familiarity are at play.” A very brief type of relationship.
2. Interdependent Relationships – “include a higher degree of expectation in areas such as shared goals, shared knowledge, and mutual respect… each side of the relationship depends on the other for individual and mutual success.  A brief to a long-lasting type of relationship.
3. Transformational Relationships – “characterized by the level of influence, mutuality, and vulnerability that is allowed and nurtured.”  We need “to be sufficiently curious and open to other’s point of view, and to the possibility that their beliefs will directly impact our own.”  A long-lasting type of relationship with a strong, deep, or close association or acquaintance between two or more people.

Regardless of the type of relationship, the person’s status or role in your organization, you as a leader, can be the difference in someone else’s life and working relationships.  It could be your personal assistant, your salesperson, it could even be the maintenance guy or the mail-person at your office – every relationship matters!

How you communicate, respond and act with each person has a long-lasting impact on your life and theirs.  For all you know, they are having a bad day, and your interaction with them could make the difference!

Ricardo Camara

Continuing with “My Why” …

I have several decades of work experiences under my belt, and five years ago by the grace of God, my life changed.  My eyes were opened, my path was changed, and all the broken relationships (that I’m aware of) have been restored. 

The level of arrogance and blindness to my communication issues was the main root cause of most of my relationship issues.  Once I learned how to communicate more effectively by applying the right strengths and communication style, the ability to nurture and strengthen every relationship increased.

I believe that everything happens in our lives for a reason! It helps to shape who you are, as well as, it forces you to grow in ways that will have a meaningful impact on the lives of others in the future.

The lessons I’ve learned over the years, along with all the training, insights, and experience gained has prepared me for this day.

• The day I share this message with you despite all my flaws.
• The day I can connect with you in your struggles as a leader, husband and father, and I’m able to understand and appreciate where you are in your life’s journey.
• The day I can offer a solution and a way to understand why you and others are behaving in a certain manner.
• The day I help you develop your skills to effectively communicate with others, that will connect, motivate and inspire them to be their best. 
• The day where I can tell you there is hope!  Relationship reconciliation is possible, and there is a solution to all of your communication issues.

My passion and profession is to help business leaders improve on their ability to build long-lasting and fruitful relationships and to reduce the financial and emotional costs that their current communication issues are having in their professional and personal life.

Ricardo Camara

Did You Know…

A survey by CPP GLOBAL HUMAN CAPITAL REPORT, JULY 2008 found that “on average, each employee spends 2.1 hours every week – approximately one day a month – dealing with conflict in some way (being involved in a disagreement, managing a conflict between co-workers, etc.).

For the U.S. alone (2.8 hours per week), this translates into 385 million working hours spent every year as a result of conflict in the workplace.

In Germany and Ireland, where the average time spent managing conflict rises to 3.3 hours per week, that figure is an even higher proportion of available working time.”

Unsurprisingly, many of the leaders that I’m currently working with are experiencing both professional and personal relationship issues, and my ability to relate to their frustration, pain, and sense of hopelessness has allowed them to achieve great progress.

The Reality Is…

Many organizations are spending thousands and thousands of dollars each year in workplace conflict costs that directly related to communication and leadership issues.

As a result of my one-on-one coaching program, insights and training tools, my clients are experiencing a reduction in interpersonal conflict costs at work.  Team productivity, collaboration and effectiveness have increased.

Interestingly, several of my clients have shared with me that because of the work we did together they are experiencing improvement in their communication and relationship with their spouse and children. That’s amazing news and feedback!

I hope that you have gained a better understanding as to “My Why”, and you might be inspired to seek a different way to make the necessary changes in your life and improve all your relationships.

I’m encouraged that you decided to read and hear my message until the end. I’m committed to helping fathers, husbands, and business leaders to avoid certain pitfalls and implement a new communication mindset. New techniques that are more effective and proven to help build stronger and healthier relationships.

REMEMBER – “EVERY SINGLE RELATIONSHIP IN YOUR LIFE REALLY MATTERS!!!”

If you, or someone you know needs to hear this message because of personal or professional relationship struggles, please contact me or share this message with them.

I’m here to help you achieve peace, hope, joy, and success in all aspects of your life!